Writer's Block or Brain Tumor?

My publishing deadline came and went last week, so I have no business posting an entry on my blog when I should be finishing up a scholarly article on Shakespeare's Henry V for the Utah Shakespearean Festival. Alas, and woe, but Tina the Tumor is on my mind and on my son's brain. So, I'm not sure if I have writer's block, but the article ain't finished.




For an update on Ryan's condition, check out his blog. He's been pretty good about keeping it current, so that all his concerned friends and family can get the details straight. We had to wait two weeks to get today's news (oligodendralglioma); now we get to wait another two weeks to find out the chromosomal makeup of those gliomal cells. That information will determine what course of treatment (if any) the neuro-oncologist can employ.

Thank you for your comments and prayers. We are feeling them and comforted by them. I'll try to lighten up a bit in coming days. Here are a few photos of family taken in January (funeral and vacation).

That's me with Christina Loeffler, a dear friend from Club '71. There's my cousin Virginia Zubik with me for the first time in over 30 years. Then Joel and Aaron with my dear Aunt Opal -- she's in her 80s and a delight! Finally, there's Markie and me checking off #1 from my "bucket list" by attending a pro football game (sigh) on December 28, 2008.

morning mirror

my mother her sad eyes worn as bark
faces me in the mirror. my mother
whose only sin was dying, whose only
enemy was time, frowns in the glass.
once again she has surprised me
in an echo of her life but
my mother refuses to be reflected;
[olive] whose only strength was love,
warns away the glint of likeness,
the woman is loosened in the mirror and
[olive may] begins her day. (unknown)


I love the monosyllabic pulse of this poem, which speaks to me from somewhere beyond my years. Yet, more and more often, I catch a glimpse of myself smiling, or not, and see only my mother's face. I hardly recognize myself anymore, inside and out. I'm hardly the same person I was only a few years ago. Happier and sadder at the same time.

This One's For Joel Obama

Laugh, and the World Laughs with You...

...cry, and you cry alone. So, I'm smiling as I write this update. The funniest things have happened over the past week: my eldest son was diagnosed with a brain tumor. We're all laughing about the need for neurosurgery. I hope y'all are giggling with me. And my broken-hearted daughter let go of a two-year relationship. She's had puffy eyes for a week now (snicker). My husband's eldest son keeps passing out from some undiagnosed malady. Good thing he's unemployed -- now, we're laughing out loud, right? And the fortune my dead father amassed, purchased with my mother's inheritance, has gone into the pockets of a dishonest crook and his equally dishonest lawyer. The bastard didn't even have the decency to give us his personal effects. I'm laughing so hard, tears are running down my face. I'm not making this stuff up. Wait, there's more...my 42-year-old cousin is having a double-mastectomy in two weeks, after being told that she had an "infection" on her breast. Funny doctor! And in spite of all this "humor", the best part of my week was the joy of spending my day off with these two angels, Naomi and Jocelyn. They rock my world!